Attempting to find my once raging passion for drawing again.
Another great read.
No idea how it happened but this arrived in my mail box today!
Receiving a copy wasn’t a part of my pledge package but heck, I can’t say enough how happy I am to finally have this! The fact that it’s already been a year is just insane, it really is. Watching the concert was so surreal….I remember many of the feelings that were coursing through me that night, one especially being how happy I felt to being seeing Robert for the first time in four years. So much has happened since that rainy night in 2010 and I was glad to be there support Robert and The Call since both bands have been such an important, amazing part of my life for so long.
Even though I was there, just watching the DVD still blows me away. To say that night rocked would be an understatement and talk about a dream come true of getting to see a band that you never expected the chance to experience before. It’s always one thing to jam with your favorite songs on record but oh man, to feel them in person pounding in your ears and chest is beyond words.
That was such an amazing trip for us…..the first of many and the start of a new chapter in our lives that I’m so very thankful for to still be living and moving forward upon.
Seeing the concert again has been a reminder how blessed I feel to have such wonderful people a part of my Life….Robert especially who has not only been an inspiration but someone who simply just brought the most beautiful light to my life in a way that can be only described as a true gift.
So much gratitude goes to Robert and The Call for all their hard work in putting those events together, giving the most kick ass shows and later making them available for everyone to see and experience.
I don’t know if this made it on the DVD but one of my favorite moments of the show was someone in the back yelling “BABE SHADOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Well, I definitely didn’t expect this to be coming our way as it wasn’t included in my pledge but even so, I am SO happy to have found it in the mail box :D
Now for a stroll down memory lane…..
See you soon.
#vsco #vsco_hub #vscocam
At times, I feel that I cannot fathom the thought that at the end of next week, we will once again be on the road.
And not only on another amazing road trip journey but also toward the Music that provides one of many homes and sources of great happiness to me.
After all the traveling we did last year along with being at BRMC shows so often, I realized that those times had become so ingrained as a part of my reality, that come this new year, I often felt an almost fear and devastation that all that wouldn’t be possible within the new months of 2014. Its so easy to feel an immense emptiness without the constant presence of Music intertwining with my energy. I miss so much to BE with the Music……to feel my my energy leaving me and being received, then in turn absorbing the flares of spirit and heart that are shared at each show.
-sigh- Let’s face it…..some days, the iPods, records and Youtube videos just can’t cut it.
Though I have done everything I could to not be consumed completely by the absence of all those wonderful moments of last year….. I won’t lie and say that when news came about a few months ago regarding the new shows BRMC would be playing in California, I didn’t feel some sort of alleviation that felt almost overwhelming. Its as if I had been finally offered relief to an immense pain that I wasn’t completely aware I possessed.
This relief though, it wasn’t just within the fact that I’d be once more immersed in my favorite Music again…..the news of these shows presented a new opportunity to fix a few things that I hoped to mend should the time ever arrive again. It’s no secret of my shyness…..the reality that (what once appeared to be) at given moment that I could be crushed with intense anxiety……and of course, the insane repercussions of my low self esteem that got me into more trouble than I could have ever imagined last year. Its one thing to regret for a day or two the missed connection with someone you really would have liked to interact with at a bookstore or something, however it is something of a whole other the regret you feel when you’re so painfully aware how much grief and trouble your internal issues have caused you in one short span of time along with keeping you from enjoying what little time you have not only with people you rarely get to see but those few who truly mean a great deal to you.
It took so long but I finally understood that I cannot dwell on those difficult moments last year…..hell, I’m not even that same person! As of now, I’m doing everything I can to movie forward and focus on the changes I wish to see in myself when presented with the situations that will be in my path in a few weeks. Slowly, but surely, I’m learning to grow from regret and into a feeling of being thankful for those difficult times. Because each one…..as painful as they were…..taught me something vital and forced me to grow into something better, equally helping as much as those who have been my guides along the way.
This time, I refuse to let my problems hold me back. Just like last year, I know those nights are being put into my future for a reason and I intend to not only enjoy those 2 nights (and hopefully some great times in between and after) for all that they truly are and have to offer….but also discover all the reasons I was put on this particular path once more.
That aside, to put it simply, I’m just really looking forward to seeing Peter, Leah and Robert again. Much to be said, expressed and heck, I’ve got the most hilarious, ridiculous (early) birthday card to deliver to Robert. Thank goodness Target is never short on brilliant, unique birthday cards because as of now, there aren’t any sections regarding one’s favorite bassist’s birthday and it can be quite difficult to find a decent card that doesn’t borderline on embarrassingly mushy.
Doesn’t get any better than ending a film with “Salvation”